


Pornographer of The Lord

by Valinde (Valyria)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Bottom Dean, Crack, Established Relationship, M/M, Not Beta Read, Overhearing Sex, Prompt Fic, SPN Kink Meme, Sex Tapes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 00:07:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1324297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valyria/pseuds/Valinde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel makes a sex tape. Starring Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pornographer of The Lord

**Author's Note:**

> written for the following [prompt](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/83218.html?thread=31204114#t31204114) on the spnkinkmeme on LJ.

Sam’s pretty sure he knows what’s echoing through the tinny speaker of Cas’s phone, but it’s so unlikely he ( _stupidly_ ), looks up from where he’s picking at the remains of his lunch (cobb salad, and not a particularly good one) to ask curiously, “What _is_ that Cas?” Because he has to be imagining things. No way is Castiel looking up redtube on his phone or something.

Cas doesn’t even look up. “It’s a video.” he replies, eyes still glued to the screen, the rhythmic slapping noises reaching Sam’s ears now unmistakable.

Sam sighs and glances around the diner. No one seems to have noticed the angel watching porn on his iphone, but Dean’s in the bathroom and tempting as it is to wait and let him deal with his weird boyfriend, Sam’s the one currently sitting at a booth with Cas. Who in his trenchcoat watching porn in a diner at lunchtime is basically a perfect storm of creepy. Not the sort of person Sam wants to be seen associating with. A particularly loud - and obvious - moan forces him into action. Against his better judgement he clears his throat and asks: “Video of what?”

“Dean and I engaging in sexual relations.” Cas tells him serenely, turning the screen so it’s pointed across the remains of lunch and directly at Sam’s face.

“ _Cas!”_ Sam barks, jerking in his seat, his knees slamming up against the table painfully. He slaps a hand over his eyes but it’s too late. Way, _way_ too late. He’s got an image of Dean’s heaving ass and back seared into his retina’s, a ‘Cas’s eye view’ of his brother getting fucked. “ _Oh my god.”_

“Sam?”

He can still hear wet slapping noises, moaning and panting. Most which he now recognizes as _Dean_ and in his mind’s eye the disturbing image of his brother getting plowed loops over and over in sync with the sound effects. “Turn it off!” he hisses.

It’s not until the sound stops that he dares to open his eyes.

Cas is sitting across the booth with his head tilted in confusion, his phone sitting innocently on the table in front of him. Sam eyes it warily before glancing around again, but mercifully no one – okay maybe that middle aged woman snorting into her coffee at the table opposite – has noticed what just happened. “Cas.” he says, trying for calm but failing somewhat. “You don’t show that sort of thing to someone’s _brother._ ”

Cas frowns. “It’s... inappropriate?” he guesses.

Dean choses that moment to slide back into the booth. Oblivious to the tension of the moment, he instead eyes Sam’s abandoned serve of fries. “You gonna eat those?” he asks.

“Nope.” Sam says, gathering his laptop and standing. “Lost my appetite. I’ll meet you back at the motel.”

Dean shrugs and pulls the basket across the table. “Your loss.”

*

A month later Sam’s managed to more or less blank the entire conversation (and the video, _oh god the video)_ from his mind, even if he does get suspicious whenever he sees Cas fiddling with his phone. Like right now.

They’ve just put down a couple of particularly nasty ghouls and are having a few drinks to celebrate. Dean’s off in his own little world, nursing his beer and watching a game of darts being played – badly - off at the back of the bar. Sam’s been making eyes at a girl sitting on the other side of the room, but Cas... Cas is staring down at his phone a little too intently for Sam’s taste.

When Dean turns back to him and spits beer all over himself, the table and Castiel and his phone, Sam can imagine only too well what he’s just seen.

 _“Cas!”_ Dean hisses, turning bright red and reaching for the phone.

Sam stands. The pretty brunette over by the bar smiles at him.

Cas is holding his phone over his head and Dean is grabbing frantically for it.

“I’m just gonna...” Sam nods his head towards the pretty brunette, but neither Dean or Cas notice. He leaves them to it.

*

The brunette – Emma – is tucked against Sam’s side snoring softly - cute little breathy noises - and Sam’s pretty close to sleep himself, relaxed after a few beers, some nice non-ghoul related conversation and a very satisfying end to the evening with Emma. But the motel’s a cheap one and the walls are paper thin.

Thankfully neither Cas or Dean are screamers and since Sam’s gotten way too used to hearing them, it barely even registers anymore. He hadn’t noticed them come back to their room – distracted by his pick-up for the evening – but he can tell it wasn’t long ago because those particular noises, those moans and groans, they are Cas and Dean just starting things up.

Sam sighs and turns into the pillow, focusing on Emma’s soft little snores and trying to ignore what’s happening next door. He does a fairly good job, good enough that when the sex noises stop and they instead start arguing, he’s jarred from a light doze.

_“—don’t understand Dean, why are you ashamed of the body the Lord gave you?”_

Oh god. Sex is one thing, but Sam doesn’t want to hear whatever constitutes a domestic dispute between Dean and his angel. The car rides can be awkward enough without knowing all the details of their weird relationship.

Dean rumbles something, but thankfully he’s talking a lot quieter than Cas and Sam can’t make out the words.

A minute or two later Sam hears Cas again, loud enough to make out even though he’s trying to ignore them.

_“I enjoy watching the recordings when we are apart.”_

_“It’s embarrassing Cas!”_

Dean’s just as loud as Castiel now, his voice carrying.

Sam opens his eyes and glares at the ceiling. They’re talking about the sex video. Unbidden he gets an awful flashback of Dean’s ass getting pounded. “oh god.” he mutters, clenching his eyes shut again and gritting his teeth as if that will somehow help.

Emma murmurs something and snuggles closer.

Sam lies in the dark and listens in quiet horror as his brother is coerced into letting an angel film them having sex. Again.

Judging from the noise Dean is making twenty minutes later, he seems pretty into it despite his initial hesitation.

Which is totally fine. Sam gets why people send each other pictures and stuff... Phones are so cool these days, so why not? He glances down at Emma. If she sent him a pic or two, or asked to take some of him, he’d be cool with that. It’s harmless fun. Especially between two grown ass men like Dean and Cas. If they want to star in their own Kim Kardashian skin flicks, good for them. 

Sam just _doesn’t want to see them._

Something bangs against the far wall.

_“Fuck! Cas!”_

Or hear them being filmed ideally.

*

 

 

 


End file.
